so there's wisdom everywhere.

the somewhat troublesome thing about that is that there's a certain level of wisdom required in knowing when and where to seek it. sometimes stuff in life works to bring you to a point where you, maybe not reach the end of your rope, but you just sorta realize that there's not just a whole lot you can do to help yourself, at least in the sort of self-reliant way that you've been so conditioned to accept.

there's tons of people that i've met who are smarter than me, hard to believe i know. going a bit farther, however, the number of people who've got the kind of wisdom that just sort of illuminates in a way that's helpful has been smaller. i've felt the need lately to seek out that sort of help, mostly because i've just felt that i could gain the kind of insight i've felt lacking.

there was clarity too, i kinda felt like i needed some of that, so i called randy. i've written about adam, not too long ago either, in fact, and the mentor he was to me and stuff like that, well randy is adam's dad, who i also worked with when i was in illinois. he's just one of those guys that when you hear his voice, he just sounds wise. what was really cool about talking to him is how i could nearly literally hear his influence on me in that conversation. i told him what was up and when he evaluated the situation the stuff that came out of his mouth was nearly verbatim what i had been thinking. since i know the character this guy has and the level of integrity with which he carries himself, i could see his fingerprints all over the development of my character which isn't so much a tribute to me as it is to him, i think.

so now i'm fairly certain about where to look.

feeling: humble
thinking of: loose change
music: "see the lite" sorta