puttin out fires with gasoline. . .

take a deep breath. maybe you'll even need to sit down.

this will be the final post here. i won't go into detail right here this second other than to say that my hand was forced, and if you want to know the deal, chances are all you have to do is ask me. anyways, i was thinking not too long ago about how lightly i have to tread writing here and how much i censor myself given the constituency of the readership, i mean my parents read here. well, it's not anything i have to think about anymore.

i feel like it's unfortunate, i really did like writing here and being able to do this for the last year and a half or so has been something i've relished doing. i'm not certain that it's made me a better writer, but it's been nice to have a record of some of the stuff i was thinking and feeling whenever i was thinking and feeling it, as well as the sounding board that the forum provided. and on top of all that, i was a really big fan of the name "postmodernnightmare" or at least the concept it repesented in my own mind, so leaving that behind hurts me a little bit, but maybe i'm just weird.

in any case, there won't be any updates here after today, all the links i've got to this spot will be taken down before next week, the site will be left up, solely for the sake of posterity, i don't think i can completely take it down anyway, so bookmark it if you'd like, because like i said, i'm taking down all the links to it. condolences for the postmodern nightmare will be accepted, i guess through email, i'll stop short of establishing a memorial fund :-) i'll start writing again at some point, likely in the not too terribly distant future, let me know if you want to know whenever and wherever i get that going, i'm gonna need to excercise a bit more control over access, so i won't be posting the address anywhere, so if you're interested, you'll have to tell me.

thanks to anyone who's read here, even if you were searching for some sordid mention of nicole richie or something like that. even more thanks to people who've provided any sort of inspiration, pretty much anybody who's been mentioned by name, you know who you are, and if you don't, feel free to ask..

if you ever want to kick it in long beach, let me know, i'll even let you have the bed and i'll take the couch. bring friends, i'll make guacamole, from scratch if you want.

feeling: incomplete
thinking of: something else
music: "she must and shall go free" derek webb