happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear jesus
happy birthday to you.

today is christmas.

there will be a magic show at zero-nine-thirty. chaplain charlie will tell you about how the free world will conquer communism with the aid of God. . .and a few marines. God has a hard-on for marines, because we kill everything we see. he plays his games, we play ours. to show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the marine corps, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the corps.

ok, so it's not christmas, not just yet anyway, although i hear it's the day after the day after tomorrow. i can't be sure, i can count the number of times i've gotten out of bed since the end of october on one hand, but that's neither here nor there i guess. so here's my deal, i know i've shut down this site, what with the whole "last post" deal that you can find just below, but i've also been unemployed which means a couple things that are at least tangentially pertinent, at least beyond the fact that my job made writing here a liability. first is that i'm not going home, pretty much on account of i don't have any money to make it there. my mom offered to get me a ticket, but i declined, there were some pretty solid reasons i had for doing that, despite the fact that i'd honestly love to be home for any reason, even more so for the holidays.

the second reason might seem a bit more nebulous to those without access to my thoughts, but it's totally lucid in my own mind, at least until i try to articulate it. mostly it's a confluence of the fact that i don't have any money to get anybody anything, along with the fact that i can't begin to think of an adjective that would describe what this year has been, and anytime i'm at a loss for words, then shite's definitely nuts. anyway, i felt like this would be the best place to express that stuff.

so i guess this would be a reprieve of sorts, maybe a stay of execution, or a last meal before i take the postmodern nightmare out behind the shed and blow his brains out once and for all. what i figure to do for the next few days or so is sort of review this year, focusing more on people than events. i'm not certain how it's gonna look just yet, but i'm actually pretty stoked to be doing it. once that's done, i'll start writing regularly, http://raggedones.blogspot.com, i figure the first post or few will be sort of an inverse of these next few here, a pretty detailed account of this year, more chronicling events that it was wiser to keep my mouth shut about whenever they were happening, essentially all the ridiculousness that led me to step down from my job. i suspect that'll come sometime early next year.

for now though, it's just good to be back.