a sports fan was sitting in the top row at the super bowl, barely able to see the field.

he noticed a vacant seat about 3 rows back on the 50-yard line. it was still vacant when the second quarter started, so he went down and asked the man seated next to it if anyone was sitting there.

the man said "no, have a seat." a few minutes later he asked the man if he knew whose seat this was and why they weren't here at such an important event. the man said that for ten years it had been his wife's seat but that she had passed away.

feeling sorry for the nice man, the fan asked if he didn't have a friend or family member that he could have offered the seat to instead of just leaving it vacant.

the man said "no, they're all at the funeral."

*****

john madden was in charlotte to announce a football game when he noticed a special telephone near the panthers bench. he asked jake delhomme what it was used for and was told it was a hotline to God. john asked if he could use it. jake told him, "sure, but it will cost you $100." john scratched his head, then thought, "hey, I could use some help picking games." he pulled out his wallet and paid $100. john's picks were perfect that week.

the next week john was in st louis when he noticed that same kind of phone on the rams bench. he asked what the telephone was for and marc bulger told him, "it's a hotline to God. if you want to use it, it will cost you $500." recalling the previous week, john pulled out his wallet and made the call. john's picks were perfect again that week.

the next weekend john was in dallas when he noticed the same kind of telephone by the cowboys bench. he asked quincy carter "is that the hotline to God?" quincy said, "yes, and if you want to use it, it will cost you 35 cents." john looked incredulously at quincy and said, "wait a second, i just paid $100 in charlotte and $500 in st louis to use the same phone to God! why do the cowboys only charge 35 cents?" quincy looked at john and replied, "in texas, it's a local call."