so yesterday was kind of a long day.

it started early, they always start early. i don't have to be at work til nine, but i'm usually awake and out of bed between half past six and seven. there's not much more that i hate than the feeling that comes when i wake up and look at the clock and realize that i have to get up right away and be somewhere, so i avoid it by getting up earlier than i necessarily have to. i don't like being rushed.

but then for that reason, i sorta feel like i do have to get up at that time, that it's the kind of thing that's essential to my mental health. even with that being the case and me using that time the way that i do, i feel like i could and really should be using that time more effectively. there's been a lot to do lately, mostly at work, and like i said yesterday was long. i've started biting my nails again, i'm not even sure what that means, but i'm pretty sure it's not symbolic of anything great.

anyways, the last couple of days were the kind of days where interacting with people made me ridiculously aware of how differently i perceive things than they do. it's nothing bad, i think i'm just being stretched. the hardest part about everything lately has been maintaining patience, and if i'm saying it's difficult to be patient, then there's little doubt that the whole deal is pretty nuts.

it's nothing bad, like i said, i'm being stretched and i'm pretty sure that it's something that i'll be better off for because it's making me consider how i do a lot of the stuff that i do, specifically work stuff, and why i'm doing it and if i should change anything and it's the kind of thing that will definitely spur me to be more thoroughly aware of what i'm doing and stuff.

so there you have it i guess.

feeling: barely adequate, which i'm not sure is any better than hopelessly inadequate
thinking of: haircut
music: "la donna e mobile" from rigoletto by verdi, i think